"How Do I Know if My Marriage Is Over?"
Every so often, someone asks a question about a specific situation, and some advice I give strikes a chord. I record those here, just in case you’re going through something similar.
"How do I know if my marriage is over?"
When you are no longer growing together.
When you like yourself better, and are more at peace when you aren’t around your spouse.
When you are done.
You’ll know when you’re done.
Just like you knew in the past. It’s like a light switch goes off.
Doubt can be overcome.
Fights can be resolved.
Disagreements can exist between two equal partners.
But when you are done, there’s nothing that can save a marriage.
If you’re questioning it, you aren’t done, but you need some help.
Here’s something that might help: start every hard conversation with, “I love you and I want to work through this.”
Sometimes you’ll forget until you’re fighting, and then one of you will say it, and it’ll soften the whole thing.
Don’t fight for your marriage.
Dance for it. Love it. Fuck for it.
Learn how to fight without fighting.
Learn how to let each other grow at each other’s pace.
Observe your partner’s journey without judgment.
Go out on dates.
Touch each other.
Cry together.
Or be done, and give yourself and your spouse that grace of freedom.